Privilege Denying Asexuals

Usually I post about asexuals being idiots. Today I’m going to post about sexuals being idiots. This is because, contrary to popular belief, I do not hate asexuals. I hate stupid asexuals — I hate stupid people, period.

So I’m hanging around on a certain anon community when I see a link to a post someone’s made on Plurk (Plurk being what would happen if Twitter and Disqus had a baby).

so apparently you can be an ace and still masturbate. this makes no fucking sense to me.

you’re still being sexual! you’re just doing it by yourself. it’s like saying i’m aurinic because i can’t piss in a public urinal

And from there it basically devolved into a bunch of pissing and moaning about how people who masturbate cannot be considered asexual omg!!

(It should be noted that the two most vocal people in this post are one of those middle-class white cis gay guys who thinks he speaks for the entire LGBTQ community, and a woman who was trolled viciously by certain Tumblr asexies and then decided that those people’s actions should reflect on every asexual ever.)

Guys, we need to decide on the definition of “asexual” here. While operating this blog, I was going by the assumption that the “-sexual” in hetero, homo, bi, pan, and a-sexual referred to the gender(s) one was attracted to; hence, a man attracted to a woman or a woman attracted to a man is heterosexual, regardless of whether that attraction is romantic or sexual. Although I admit, I did dumb it down and use words like “heteroromantic” because otherwise I would have spent all my time explaining myself to dumbasses hellbent on missing the point.

But if the “sexual” actually does mean that one has sexual urges, and therefore someone who masturbates is not asexual even if they aren’t attracted to anyone, this breaks down.

What exactly are the definitions we’re using?