The point of this blog is the following:
1) There is no such thing as "sexual privilege".
2) Cisgender hetero* people are not queer, whether or not they are asexual.
3) "Demisexuality" is a bullshit "orientation" that is nothing more than thinly-veiled slut-shaming.
I don’t believe there is such a thing as asexual privilege. This blog’s name (and the “Asexual privilege checklist”) are a tongue-in-cheek response to the “Sexual Privilege” checklist. I know no one is going to actually acknowledge that I said this — I’ve said it a million times before after all — but it’s worth a shot.
![What do you mean heterosexual refers to your partner's gender and not to [the act of having] sex?](http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/10021197.jpg)
Anonymous asked: Heteroromantic asexuals not being queer doesn't mean they're straight. You don't get to tell them whether or not they're straight, and several heteroromantic aces have spoken up loudly to say that they resent being categorized as straight. I'm not heterosexual, but I imagine that most heterosexuals do in fact find the difference between heterosexual heteroromantic and heteroromantic asexual pretty big. Having sex is important for a lot of people.
Saying this again.
A man who only falls in love with and dates women, or a woman who only falls in love with and dates men
IS STRAIGHT.
Words mean things.
Anonymous asked: "So… if “queer” includes heteros, then what is the point of the word? Wouldn’t everyone be queer?"
No, because there is a big difference between being Heterosexual and being Heteroromantic, namely that not experiencing sexual attraction bit.
You’re not queer if you’re a cis guy who only dates women. It’s as simple as that. You are not oppressed just because you don’t have sex.
Anonymous asked: You're doing a pretty good job dodging questions that call you out on your faulty reasoning. First, your definition of queer is not everyone's definition of queer. For a lot of people, it's a blanket term for everyone who feels they are outside the represented sexual norm of society. It's pretty annoying that you keep insisting it's a definite thing when it's not. The "appropriation" argument is ridiculous.
Second, as someone who claims to be part of the queer community, you're making the rest of us look bad by encouraging the alienation of people who only wanted to identify with us because they felt alienated in the rest of the world. According to you, asexuals and demisexuals (yes, they exist, and not in the way you think) don't deserve to be part of a community based on acceptance because they apparently have too much privilege. They have some privilege, yes, but since their existence is extremely underrepresented and mostly just ignored, they don't have the same amount of privilege as a person who fits the sexual norm presented by their society.
Even if you still personally refuse to call them queer, at least acknowledge that it really is none of your business how they identify themselves. Even with heteroromantic asexuals in the mix, the queer community is still a minority, so it'd be nice if you stopped focusing on alienating them and erasing their identities.
According to you, asexuals and demisexuals (yes, they exist, and not in the way you think) don’t deserve to be part of a community based on acceptance because they apparently have too much privilege.
Nope.
Try reading again.
Asexuals can be considered queer — if they are homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, or even aromantic. Heteroromantic asexuals are straight, though, and therefore not queer. Let’s try rephrasing this. Let’s say that I’m a heteroromantic heterosexual and want to be considered queer.
According to you, sexuals don’t deserve to be part of a community based on acceptance because they apparently have too much privilege.
This is clearly ridiculous. Why is it any different just because heteroromantic asexuals aren’t fucking their partners?
Anonymous asked: Where do you get off calling an asexual person 'straight'? Straight means 'heterosexual.' I'm not heterosexual. Even if you don't consider asexuals queer, calling us straight is factually incorrect and would be like me deciding to call you something that you are not. Have some basic human courtesy and respect for facts and definitions.
No, straight means hetero. Period. A man who only dates, falls in love with, or marries women is not queer by any stretch of the word. I’m sorry if breaking this news to you shatters your delusions of the world, but you are not queer if you only love people of the opposite gender.
(Edit: Of course I meant to say “cis man”. One effect of the cissupremacist world we live in is that even trans people internalize the “cis = normal” viewpoint. I’m sorry for that.)
dragonhugsdeactivedgay asked: from what we see, you feel threatened by identities of Aces who identify as queer
your logic behind heteromantic asexuals not being allowed to identify as queer is shoddy at best. especially since we have personally witness harassment of asexuals for their identity and their asexuality
we also hope you know that your blog has made a lot of asexual people feel alienated from the queer community, as well as just feel shitty for being asexual
try not to ignore the rest of our ask this time
I don’t feel threatened by anything.
“Straight people are not queer” is not shoddy, but keep on clinging to hope that maybe one day you can be ~*special*~.
And if I alienated some heteroromantics, then good. Because they are not queer.
An open letter to tumblr “queer hetero-romantic” asexuals
Do you even know where the word ‘straight’ came from? It came from us. From the queer community. At first it meant ex-gays, people who had ‘gone straight’, and then it just meant heteros. It’s our word, do you understand that? We defined it, we still define it. We said “straight” when we talked about heteros who were calling us f*gs and d*kes, and we say “straight” when we’re talking about hetero aces who are calling us trolls and haters and barnacles. When you make posts about how “the queers will never win” we call you straight. You are straight because you are hetero and you are straight because you are attacking us and you are straight because you will never bring us down.
I’m not saying you don’t have problems. Let me repeat that because y’all seem to have convinced yourselves we don’t believe it. ASEXUALITY IS REAL AND IT CAUSES YOU PROBLEMS. But you “queer het” aces on tumblr who have been attacking queers, you can’t pick and choose which of our words are real. You can’t have queer without straight and we get to say who’s straight.
We’ve fought straights for a long, long time. Do you really think, just because your internet buddies are giving you asspats on tumblr, that we’re going to let you demonize and dehumanize us?
WE ARE HERE.
WE ARE QUEER.
WE’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
We are real people whether you want to believe it or not. You are straight and you are cowards.
this just in: having a word all to yourself to identify with is the most important, more at 11
yeah that’s why it’s so so soooooo important that heteroromantics should be allowed to call themselves queer, amirite?
(via sous-terre)
An open letter to tumblr “queer hetero-romantic” asexuals
Do you even know where the word ‘straight’ came from? It came from us. From the queer community. At first it meant ex-gays, people who had ‘gone straight’, and then it just meant heteros. It’s our word, do you understand that? We defined it, we still define it. We said “straight” when we talked about heteros who were calling us f*gs and d*kes, and we say “straight” when we’re talking about hetero aces who are calling us trolls and haters and barnacles. When you make posts about how “the queers will never win” we call you straight. You are straight because you are hetero and you are straight because you are attacking us and you are straight because you will never bring us down.
I’m not saying you don’t have problems. Let me repeat that because y’all seem to have convinced yourselves we don’t believe it. ASEXUALITY IS REAL AND IT CAUSES YOU PROBLEMS. But you “queer het” aces on tumblr who have been attacking queers, you can’t pick and choose which of our words are real. You can’t have queer without straight and we get to say who’s straight.
We’ve fought straights for a long, long time. Do you really think, just because your internet buddies are giving you asspats on tumblr, that we’re going to let you demonize and dehumanize us?
WE ARE HERE.
WE ARE QUEER.
WE’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
We are real people whether you want to believe it or not. You are straight and you are cowards.
![[Picture: Background: 4 piece horizontal color split with black, grey, white, and purple. Foreground: White guy with glasses and light shadow wearing a sweat shirt over a button down and short black hair. Has a smug, arrogant facial expression and crossed arms. Top text: “I don’t fuck my opposite sex partner” Bottom text: “That makes me queer doncha [sic] know”]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm5epfVvOV1qkl1geo1_400.jpg)
[Picture: Background: 4 piece horizontal color split with black, grey, white, and purple. Foreground: White guy with glasses and light shadow wearing a sweat shirt over a button down and short black hair. Has a smug, arrogant facial expression and crossed arms. Top text: “I don’t fuck my opposite sex partner” Bottom text: “That makes me queer doncha [sic] know”]
![[Picture: Background: 4 piece horizontal color split with black, grey, white, and purple. Foreground: White guy with glasses and light shadow wearing a sweat shirt over a button down and short black hair. Has a smug, arrogant facial expression and crossed arms. Top text: “Gay couples who have sex” Bottom text: “Are privileged over me and my girlfriend because we don’t.”]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm5col07BJ1qkl1geo1_400.jpg)
[Picture: Background: 4 piece horizontal color split with black, grey, white, and purple. Foreground: White guy with glasses and light shadow wearing a sweat shirt over a button down and short black hair. Has a smug, arrogant facial expression and crossed arms. Top text: “Gay couples who have sex” Bottom text: “Are privileged over me and my girlfriend because we don’t.”]
![[Picture: Background: 4 piece horizontal color split with black, grey, white, and purple. Foreground: White guy with glasses and light shadow wearing a sweat shirt over a button down and short black hair. Has a smug, arrogant facial expression and crossed arms. Top text: “I’m using my straight privilege over you?” Bottom text: “Ahahaha”]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm5ckwvsqK1qkl1geo1_400.jpg)
[Picture: Background: 4 piece horizontal color split with black, grey, white, and purple. Foreground: White guy with glasses and light shadow wearing a sweat shirt over a button down and short black hair. Has a smug, arrogant facial expression and crossed arms. Top text: “I’m using my straight privilege over you?” Bottom text: “Ahahaha”]
![[Picture: Background: 4 piece horizontal color split with black, grey, white, and purple. Foreground: White guy with glasses and light shadow wearing a sweat shirt over a button down and short black hair. Has a smug, arrogant facial expression and crossed arms. Top text: “There’s nothing straight” Bottom text: “about being heteromantic. [sic]”]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm5cc851Po1qkl1geo1_400.jpg)
[Picture: Background: 4 piece horizontal color split with black, grey, white, and purple. Foreground: White guy with glasses and light shadow wearing a sweat shirt over a button down and short black hair. Has a smug, arrogant facial expression and crossed arms. Top text: “There’s nothing straight” Bottom text: “about being heteromantic. [sic]”]
![[Picture: Background: 4 piece horizontal color split with black, grey, white, and purple. Foreground: White guy with glasses and light shadow wearing a sweat shirt over a button down and short black hair. Has a smug, arrogant facial expression and crossed arms. Top text: “I told my parents I want to marry a woman and have children.” Bottom text: “Coming out was so scary.”]
If you’re a woman, substitute “man” in the above macro.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm5carl0221qkl1geo1_400.jpg)
[Picture: Background: 4 piece horizontal color split with black, grey, white, and purple. Foreground: White guy with glasses and light shadow wearing a sweat shirt over a button down and short black hair. Has a smug, arrogant facial expression and crossed arms. Top text: “I told my parents I want to marry a woman and have children.” Bottom text: “Coming out was so scary.”]
If you’re a woman, substitute “man” in the above macro.
