The point of this blog is the following:
1) There is no such thing as "sexual privilege".
2) Cisgender hetero* people are not queer, whether or not they are asexual.
3) "Demisexuality" is a bullshit "orientation" that is nothing more than thinly-veiled slut-shaming.
I don’t believe there is such a thing as asexual privilege. This blog’s name (and the “Asexual privilege checklist”) are a tongue-in-cheek response to the “Sexual Privilege” checklist. I know no one is going to actually acknowledge that I said this — I’ve said it a million times before after all — but it’s worth a shot.
![What do you mean heterosexual refers to your partner's gender and not to [the act of having] sex?](http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/10021197.jpg)
Anonymous asked: Heteroromantic asexuals not being queer doesn't mean they're straight. You don't get to tell them whether or not they're straight, and several heteroromantic aces have spoken up loudly to say that they resent being categorized as straight. I'm not heterosexual, but I imagine that most heterosexuals do in fact find the difference between heterosexual heteroromantic and heteroromantic asexual pretty big. Having sex is important for a lot of people.
Saying this again.
A man who only falls in love with and dates women, or a woman who only falls in love with and dates men
IS STRAIGHT.
Words mean things.
Anonymous asked: Where do you get off calling an asexual person 'straight'? Straight means 'heterosexual.' I'm not heterosexual. Even if you don't consider asexuals queer, calling us straight is factually incorrect and would be like me deciding to call you something that you are not. Have some basic human courtesy and respect for facts and definitions.
No, straight means hetero. Period. A man who only dates, falls in love with, or marries women is not queer by any stretch of the word. I’m sorry if breaking this news to you shatters your delusions of the world, but you are not queer if you only love people of the opposite gender.
(Edit: Of course I meant to say “cis man”. One effect of the cissupremacist world we live in is that even trans people internalize the “cis = normal” viewpoint. I’m sorry for that.)
An open letter to tumblr “queer hetero-romantic” asexuals
Do you even know where the word ‘straight’ came from? It came from us. From the queer community. At first it meant ex-gays, people who had ‘gone straight’, and then it just meant heteros. It’s our word, do you understand that? We defined it, we still define it. We said “straight” when we talked about heteros who were calling us f*gs and d*kes, and we say “straight” when we’re talking about hetero aces who are calling us trolls and haters and barnacles. When you make posts about how “the queers will never win” we call you straight. You are straight because you are hetero and you are straight because you are attacking us and you are straight because you will never bring us down.
I’m not saying you don’t have problems. Let me repeat that because y’all seem to have convinced yourselves we don’t believe it. ASEXUALITY IS REAL AND IT CAUSES YOU PROBLEMS. But you “queer het” aces on tumblr who have been attacking queers, you can’t pick and choose which of our words are real. You can’t have queer without straight and we get to say who’s straight.
We’ve fought straights for a long, long time. Do you really think, just because your internet buddies are giving you asspats on tumblr, that we’re going to let you demonize and dehumanize us?
WE ARE HERE.
WE ARE QUEER.
WE’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
We are real people whether you want to believe it or not. You are straight and you are cowards.
Anonymous asked: hi i'm a heteromantic asexual and i'm queer because i have to hear people talk about sex. TAKE THAT YOU HOMOSEXUALS!!!
Oops, I don’t know how I let this one out of the askbox. My finger must have slipped.
Anonymous asked: What is sexual attraction?
Attraction toward someone sexually.
doitformysanity asked: I ask, what the hell it is exactly, that you are attempting to argue. Because all I can tell is that this is an argument in attempting to define an ambiguous word(s) that are, for the most part, only relevant to those who need to use them.
Example being: "sexuality" "asexuality" "queer" etc. Those words can NOT be narrowly defined. Period. Don't even try. It is like trying to define the word "running"
People run at different paces. Some run fast and some waddle and what makes it different from trotting or jogging, exactly? See what I mean?
I'm not trying to harsh your argument flow or anything, I just don't understand. At all.
The point I am making is that words do, in fact, matter.
- Straight and queer are mutually exclusive words (unless one is not cisgendered).
- Attraction, either romantic or sexual, solely toward the gender that is considered the “opposite” of your own (men for women, or women for men) is straight.
I agree that people run at different paces. Trotting and jogging have specific definitions; trotting is not running, but jogging is. A jogger is, indeed, a runner, but is not a sprinter, and trying to argue that they are the same because ~words are ambigous~ is just ridiculous.
haffurupafu asked: "Queer" as a term aside, have you ever been asexual before? Heteromantic or not, it's not the same thing as being straight. You can argue all you want, but the fact of the matter is that you wouldn't know. Because you're not a heteromantic asexual. If a non-heterosexual person says that they don't feel they're straight, then they're not straight. That is the beginning and end of the story. Because it's up to an individual to identify as whatever they're happiest with and whatever makes them most comfortable. There are dictionary definitions of words and there are personal definitions of words. However strongly a person feels about their personal definition isn't irrelevant; but the fact of the matter is that it's not any more significant than another person's personal definition.
So, the skinny of this whole post, in case you don't feel like reading? Asexual =/= straight. This blog is terrible and you're hateful. You should be ashamed, but you're not, and this post likely won't make any difference in that fact. The end.
If people get to pick words to identify as regardless of their definitions, we might as well throw out all notions of what words mean altogether. From now on, I am going to identify as a half-elf, half-vampire, half-wolf unicorn who is President of Canada, and you can’t tell me otherwise because it’s my personal definition of those words.
Anonymous asked: So, somebody else can't decide who gets to be queer but you can?
Asexuality is a sexual minority. If you're asexual, you are a member of a sexual minority. I don't give a damn what their romantic orientation is. I don't get to decide their identity and neither do you.
You know why gay/bi/pan/trans/intersex people get to call ourselves queer? Because we're outside the heterosexual and cisgender majority of society. Guess what, so are asexuals.
It isn't all about romantic orientation. Stop identity policing.
Straight people are not queer.
Go look up “appropriation” and then get back to me.
Anonymous asked: Someone can be straight and queer, if the choose to identify that way. It is completely up to the person in question what their identity is. Who gave you the privilege to choose someone else's identity for them?
You’re right that someone can be straight and queer: If that person is transgender, genderqueer, intersex, or otherwise gender-non-conforming. A cisgender person who is straight is never queer. You can’t just decide that a word means something it doesn’t just because you want into the ~super kewl queer kids club~.
